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Guwahati, Nov 27: A crematorium is typically a solemn environment, and while women are not explicitly prohibited, they have traditionally faced discouragement from being there. Contrary to this norm, the Navagraha Crematorium in Guwahati challenges expectations, with a woman named Dhritimala Deka defying the tradition by providing a compassionate service on the cremation ground.
Despite cultural norms restricting Hindu women from attending such rituals, her dedication reflects a shift towards inclusivity and support during sombre moments in the community.
Deka, a recipient of the Assam Gaurav Award, was recognised for her service to the public as she has been actively participating in the cremation procedures at the Navagraha Crematorium since 2016.
“I find peace in the cremation ground and I wish to die in the service of the people," expresses Deka, who assisted in over 300 cremation procedures at the crematorium last year.
“Initially, I assisted in the cremation procedures of my relatives and friends. I got into the limelight after I started assisting in the cremations of high-profile personalities,” added Deka.
Amidst the chant of mantras and the stacking of wood on the pyre, the sight of Deka assisting in the last rites of legendary Assamese actor Nipon Goswami and renowned painter Neel Pawan Baruah caught the attention of the public. She was seen arranging the pyres and leading the entire cremation ritual, as well as assisting the bereaved families.
"People initially assumed I was a relative of Mr. Goswami. However, when they noticed me at Mr. Baruah's funeral rites, inquiries about me started," shared Deka. The dynamics changed when people began anticipating her presence during the cremation of their loved ones. Deka expressed her commitment, stating, "I want to live up to this expectation, as this is where I feel blessed and attain peace." Her dedicated service earned her the title 'Smashanbandhu,' making her a sought-after figure whenever a body arrives at the cremation ground.
On being asked about her motivation to participate in funeral procedures, Deka credited her father and the upbringing that she has received since childhood. “My father used to conduct funeral rites as our home was just near the crematorium. After my father was suffering from partial blindness, he was unable to conduct the rites. He used to get calls from relatives and friends as the pyre needed to get ready and people would line up. Being the eldest one amongst the three siblings, my father entrusted me to prepare the pyre, initiating my involvement,” informed Deka.
In Deka’s words, the committee members of the crematorium were equally supportive and played a major role in putting her forward on the cremation ground. “I never faced any discrimination in my pursuit of assisting in funeral rites. Be it from my family or the committee members,” Deka emphasised.
Deka further said that she never faced any prejudice and the family members of the bereaved were equally supportive. “Everybody was encouraging and helped me to continue with the funeral procedure this ultimately gave me the encouragement to proceed with the final rites,” said Deka.
A mother of two, Deka not only dedicates herself to assisting in funeral procedures but also excels as an entrepreneur. She manages a company related to science and technology that imparts training to students in rural government schools, showcasing her commitment to advancing education in innovative fields. Additionally, her passion for handloom products is evident, as she actively engages in the weaving department as well. Deka's diverse pursuits reflect her multifaceted interests, seamlessly blending her professional endeavours with her personal hobbies.
Navigating through life's unpredictable twists, Deka highlighted that the award was unexpected, deeming it a blessing. Now, she views it as her duty to be present at the crematorium whenever people require her assistance. Notably, she has observed a positive shift, with women willingly stepping forward to aid in the cremation procedures. Deka finds hope and joy in this development, expressing gratitude that her work fosters inclusivity without compromising societal values. She considers herself blessed if her efforts contribute to a more inclusive and supportive community.
